Sharing Your Feelings
Relationships where people share their feelings are happier and healthier. It can feel hard to do, and there are some tips that help.
Think about why you’re sharing your feelings.
- To feel closeness in the relationship.
- To be genuine and honest.
- To avoid hard feelings from building up.
- To ask for something to be different.
Choose a good time, and let your partner know you’d like to talk.
Make sure you have enough time to talk, and that there are no distractions. Find a private place to talk.
Tell them how you feel, using “I feel...” statements.
Don’t blame or judge, simply let them know how you feel. For example:
- “I feel worried that your feelings for me have changed.”
- “I felt really cared for when you sent me that nice text.”
- “I felt angry and disappointed when you cancelled our plans last minute.”
Show that you are calm with your body language and your tone.
Use a calm and direct tone of voice. Don’t yell. Make sure your body language matches your tone. Give the other person some physical space.
Don’t argue.
- You don’t have control over how your partner reacts. They might be glad to hear your feelings, or they might be defensive, not care, or feel some other way.
- Sharing your feelings is important, but it may not lead to the outcome you want. If your partner doesn’t react the way you were hoping, you may decide to compromise or to end the relationship.
Source: Stepping Stones – Improving Relationships and Sexual Health (Public Health – Seattle & King County)