How to Apologize

It’s important to apologize when you hurt someone’s feelings, even if it was an accident. When one person apologizes, it can help the other person feel better. It helps people not have a fight. You can use these steps to apologize to a partner or to anyone in your life.  

“I’m sorry for…” 

Explain specifically what you are sorry for. Don’t say “I’m sorry you are mad,” instead say what YOU did that you are sorry for.  

• “I’m sorry I got mad at you for talking with your guy friend.”
• “I’m sorry I said that mean thing about your mom.”
• “I’m sorry I said you looked ugly in your new outfit.” 

“It was wrong because….” 

Show that you understand why it hurt the other person. 

• “It was wrong because I was trying to control what you do.”
• “It was wrong because I only said that to hurt you.”
• “It was wrong because it was mean.” 

“Next time I will…” 

Let them know what you will do differently next time. Don’t just say “next time I won’t do that.” Make sure they know what change you are making so that it won’t happen again. 

• “Next time I will calm myself down before we talk. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
• “Next time I will take a time-out when I get mad instead of losing my temper.”
• “Next time I will say something that is nice.” 

Source: Stepping Stones – Improving Relationships and Sexual Health (Public Health – Seattle & King County)